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Six years today and it still breaks my heart.
I've fucked up plenty, which I guess is pretty normal for everyone, and I really do try not to regret or dwell on my past, but you left a gaping hole and an ache that I can't heal no matter how hard I try.
Every day I miss you, I wish I'd gotten to know you even half as much as I love you.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
samantha86
20th May, 2012 19:31 (UTC)
Oh hunny,

I know I can't begin to understand how you feel but if you ever need anything, I'm here for you.

I hope you're alright. You know I'll always love you xxx
morgaine_le_fey
21st May, 2012 09:16 (UTC)
I'm fine my Moosey dear, isn't it silly how I felt that to whine about the past I had to come back to LJ land, I thought I'd locked this place up and had thrown away the key yonks ago

I love you too, if I tried to count how blessed I was to know you I'd run out of known numbers (though I'm sure I could borrow some from Josh, he knows more 0's than me *nodnod*).

I will catch up with you soon, I hear we've been summoned for a BBQ, awesome! I've got some little things for K, and I have to see your shiny new house. I've pretty much got the migranes under control, so they'll stop holding me back now, it just sucks that I came down with this stupid labyrinthitus. I did some reading up on it though and apparantly it is not that uncommon after a long period of headaches/low immuno response, it just isnt something the docs think to mention.

Ho hum, I had best get back to work, my amazing pictures of trains have been loaded, yay!

Love and hugs
xxxxx
eternal_kenshin
10th Jul, 2012 11:32 (UTC)
An apology for this morning's stupid response (despite the fact i can't see it so don't believe it went through), in my early morning stupor and after quite the weird dream i had figured i knew what you were talking about.
After having become considerably more coherent i see now what you were referencing and shouldn't have piped up at all.
All the positives stand, despite the misjudged context.
Memories, regardless how painful always serve a positive purpose, even if only to show us what we want from the future.
Keep well.

Edited at 2012-07-11 18:25 (UTC)
morgaine_le_fey
16th Jul, 2012 10:04 (UTC)
No apologies needed. It did go through, somehow you managed to screen it, technology eh?
Thanks for the memories. I do think of the good time far far more than the rough ones, and I thank you for making those memories with me, it made me a fuller, more complex person with more understanding of the world than I could have ever come by on my own.
Gods I miss those rats, I drove past Lincoln Road park the other day and couldnt help but smile about the time I took Puck to play on the swings.
I guess I wrote the post to exorcise a few demons of my own, not to let go of the past but to stop it haunting me. Writing things down has always helped me put things in perspective, I guess the coherance of structured paragraphs makes things at least seem like they make sense... or something like that!
Hope you are keeping well in this forsaken, soggy summer.
Rx

Oh, PS, my hotmail address went bang a while ago, someone got in and changed my password, and the staff at hotmail didnt seem to keen to let me get back in so I've lost a load of contacts and emails. Am working on getting it back again now I'm back in the UK.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )